Meaning of a blue rose
by Aralka
Summary: Everytime he visited her, a blue rose was in the bouquet. Blue roses are extremly rare, and mean 'Impossiblity'. It suited both of them.


A/N: I have a MAJOR writer's block for all my fics, nowadays. Besides, I'm on holidays...Kinda.

So, the idea for this oneshot came one day and I couldn't get it out of my mind. In the end, I just had to write it. Hope you'll enjoy. REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

He watched her out of the corner of his life. Not meeting his gaze, she fastened the weapon pouch on her waist. Once again, for what seemed hundredth time, she made sure everything's ready. 

Surprisingly, it was him who broke the silence. Apparently, he couldn't stand it anymore.

"How long you'll be gone?"

"I don't know."

Such answers were really common in ninja's life. Their lives were uncertain. The thin thread could be cut any moment, in most unsusceptible time.

His brown eyes turned worried, unsure and a little...confused. Usually, the most probably date of return was given.

Never mind it was always wrong. Assignments rarely went as planned. But at least, it gave hope.

It gave strength to move on with life and function properly while your other half was missing.

"It's our life." She answers his silent question, leaving the statement to hang in the air.

"It's a curse." He corrects, watching her step out in the chilly air.

The door closed after her with a quiet sound.

Something inside Shikamaru snapped and with uncharacteristic swiftness, he opened the window, behind which Ino's retreating figure could be still visible.

"Be careful! And...Come back to me!" He shouted, watching the blonde wave with her hand, until it disappeared in thick darkness.

Strong fear gripped his heart and he couldn't sleep anymore that night. There were no clouds the next day.

* * *

Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka weren't married yet, much to their parents' displeasure. They shared one apartment, one bed even and both were happy with such arrangement. 

After all, they were only twenty-one; they still had time.

Already planning few steps ahead, the genius started to shape their future in his mind few years earlier, on their first date. He delineated for them to be so happy...so happy with each other...every detail was carefully thought.

Too bad best plans always lay awry.

**_Work as a shinobi, just to earn enough to make a living..._**

"_Tadaima!" A tall jounin entered the room, slipping off shoes and throwing them carelessly on the floor. Faintly, he could hear noises come from the kitchen and very soon, familiar energetic footsteps echoed in the hallway. He smiled slightly, despite his messy appearance. Jounin missions were troublesome._

"_Okarinasai!" Pale, slim blonde walked up to him while he waited, admiring the gracefulness she moved with. Ino tiptoed, placing a peck on his cheek and he hugged her, careful not to squish the little cargo in her arms._

_Bending down, he kissed the baby's forehead, short, golden locks brushing his face. His wife smiled, turning and going to the kitchen again._

"_Take a shower, the dinner's almost ready." She called to him as Shikamaru already headed for the bathroom. He smiled, relishing the thought that he was spared such troublesome tasks like cleaning and cooking._

_And that Ino still, after those years they knew each other, cared for him to always be at his side, when needed._

**_Marry a not-troublesome woman and spawn two children. Firstly, a daughter..._**

"_Daddy, can I go and play with other children?" A shadow fell on his book and he looked up to see five year old Nikko standing in front of him, with a wide grin on her round face. He smiled warmly._

"_Of course, just make sure you won't wander off too far again." He warned, before going back to the lecture again. He heard the sound of quick run and rustling of leafs in their garden. He waited a little, until the creaking sound of garden gate being opened and closed echoed, accompanied with happy yell of their daughter._

_Shikamaru shook his head, admiring how much the girl took after her mother. His attention returned to the pages._

_He managed to read and understand only few sentences before a shrieking scream could be heard. An eager toddler moved past him, babbling some incoherent words. He watched Iyoku until it became obvious that the boy was aiming for the swing that hang on the tree in their garden._

_The scream could be heard again, although this time from much closer distance._

"_Iyoku, get back here! You know that you can't go off like that!" Ino screamed, reaching the child in a mad run and scooping the boy into her arms. She looked at her husband, who stared back and they both gave their own smile of understanding._

_The blonde joined the man on the wooden balcony and laid her head on his broad shoulder._

"_They inherited your habit of wandering." She announced, re-adjusting their second child on her lap._

_The little boy was currently reaching for Shikamaru's ponytail, something that Ino conveniently chose to ignore. Shikamaru winced when small fist tightened on one of his loose bangs and pain could be felt on his scalp as the said bang was pulled._

"_And your stamina." He added, prying small fingers from the dark locks and losing a bunch of hair in process. "Bad combination." Shikamaru concluded, his arm lazily draping over slim frame, the other placing the book away._

_Clouds passed on the clear, blue sky and everything was just like it was meant to be._

**_... Then a son. Retire when the daughter is married and the son becomes a real man, die before my wife..._**

_**Die before my wife...**_

It really is a pity that best plans always lay awry.

**_

* * *

_**

"You came again." It was a statement, not a question; nevertheless Shikamaru nodded, placing flowers on the ground.

"You stopped coming to Chouji's grave a week after his funeral. Today passes the second week since my funeral. Why are you still coming here? Isn't this troublesome?"

The last words forced him to actually think of an answer.

He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel anything, too.

"I had to come." He grumbled his face a mixture of tiredness and sadness. Dark bags were perfectly visible under small, brown eyes. "Especially that we were...you know." He couldn't say it, it still hurt too much, his throat was too tight to form such words.

Not after what happened.

"...You've been coming here for two weeks every day. And I can remember hearing you saying that going on dates was too troublesome." There was a hint of accusation in her voice.

Shikamaru groaned inwardly. "That's different. Did you return only to haunt me?"

"...Baka. And it's different in what way, exactly?"

Shikamaru stared at her blankly, watching blond hair dance with the wind. He waited for her to develop the last sentence, to understand her more.

"We're spending time together outside, just the two of us. And you brought flowers. How's it different from a date?"

Shikamaru raised his voice in desperation. "We're at your grave and you're a ghost!" He tightened his fists so much that blood dripped. Small tears started to form inside his eyes.

"...I guess you have a point."

A moment of silence passed.

It started that night, just when he learned that Ino died on that blasted mission. His friends offered to stay with him through the next few days but he refused. He wanted to be alone to gather thoughts.

It was a sleepless night and after few hours of rolling around, eyes wide open, Shikamaru gave up the idea of resting and left the house, heading for a relaxing walk.

That's when he saw Ino again.

She was sitting on the monument, thoughtfully tracing the newly craved 'Yamanaka Ino' with her fingers. Her appearance was almost transparent, the outline of her body still visible to him.

She saw him as well and they talked until he had to leave. She promised to meet him again, soon.

'_I told you I'd come back'_

He came to her grave every day, finding time between missions just to see her face again. They'd spend few minutes with each, then he'd leave. Ino was always there, still caring enough to wait.

Hopeless feeling.

The nostalgic thoughts were broken by her voice, much gentler this time.

"I don't want you to come here anymore."

Startled, he looked at her but Ino remained quiet after those few words. Finally, he managed to croak: "Why?"

She looked down at the ground, staring at the bouquet he brought. "I don't want to act so selfish. Konoha needs you, possibly even more then me." Piercing blue eyes looked pointedly at his frowns and dark circles under eyes.

Shikamaru looked at her intensively. "I need you to be selfish."

None of them said anything after that, because there was no need for words.

Ino's eyes told him everything.

_Why are you trying so hard to say goodbye to me?_

The night was restless for him, again.

* * *

Shikamaru knew they couldn't carry on living like that again. The genius was perfectly aware that he was fooling himself, pretending that everything was alright, just like it should be and having casual conversations with Ino. It was simply an illusion, one that he couldn't bring himself to let go. 

_It's not a curse. It's my way of life. Ino's way of life. Thousands other people way of life._

His eyes drifted towards the empty spot on his bed. He realized that although few times they did something on it, his most treasured memories were when Ino was just lying tightly pressed to his chest, making him feel warm and secured.

It was already dawn, he acknowledged with surprise. Picking himself up, the Nara dressed and locked the door, heading towards Yamanaka garden to pick up flowers for Ino. He always chose the same bouquet and arranged it by his own.

Too troublesome to change it.

* * *

"I was wondering if you'd come." Her gaze never left him as he placed flowers on the grave. She looked at them intently for a moment, while Shikamaru remained silent. 

"You always bring the same composition and the same flowers. Do you pick them up yourself? I can't recognize any florist's hand..."

Shikamaru nodded.

"Figures. You never had good hand with flowers."

She stood up from the sitting position on the cold stone and let her hand go through plants. She patted them with affection, even though she couldn't touch them. Something shone in her pale eyes.

"Do you even know what they mean?"

He shook his head, preparing for what was about to come every minute now. Ino continued to talk, pointing to every part of his messy bouquet.

"That's Belladonna. It stands for loneliness."

"That's Aloe. It means grief."

"That's Yew. It means sadness.

"And that one means dreams. It's called Osmunda" She carefully omitted the one which stood out most, placed in the middle. Blue rose.

Cold breeze flew by and Shikamaru spoke for the first time this day. "And the blue rose? What does it mean?"

Her voice was a mere whisper when she said that one word...

"Impossibility."

He bent down and pulled the said flower from the rest. He looked at it then shifted his eyes to the blonde again. "It suits you."

She shook her head. "No. It suits us."

The wind blew and blue petals vanished in the air, floating free...He watched them for a moment, tracking their path.

When he looked back, Ino was nowhere to be seen. And Shikamaru knew that he was also free, from illusions and dreams that seemed to scatter just like blue petals on the wind...

* * *

A/N: My friend said I was a real bitch to end it like that. Personally, I quite like this oneshot. Dunno why, it's crap. REVIEW! Oh, and just a note withmeaningsfor the meant-to-be names of their children: 

Iyoku (boy)- Will

Nikko (girl)- Ray of sunshine


End file.
